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Rewriting the story 10 years later.

Updated: Oct 19, 2020



The entire project was to rediscover the 40,000 words I wrote as a child and to attempt rewriting them.


When I first wrote the story, most of it was dialogue, as seen in the photo. I wrote whatever came to mind, dismissing all the 'fancy' vocabulary and descriptions.

I realized that many of my characters, especially the 'strong-headed' 'courageous' protagonist, quickly gave into the storyline. Since it was my first draft, I wrote whatever was in my head, which denied much depth. Ten years later, it is common to obtain a different perspective, notably a more 'realistic' one. Which does


The following was written ten years ago for Chapter 8. Later it became Chapter 3. I also decided to leave all the spelling mistakes I had made in my first draft. I was never very good at grammar and made plenty of mistakes (also, 'Andrew' became 'Smith,' due to personal experiences):



In the cuboards, Gabriell found some stunning jewlery, a neckles and some ear rings, the neckles was made of rich gold, so were the ear rings. her hair was a mess so she combed, the notting and tangled hair with her fingers. then she walked out of the room and closed the door, but after a couple of quick seconds, she opened it and to make sure that it would never disappear.
Gabriell soon found herself wondering around in the giant house, looking through all the rooms, she was unfortunatly lost. meanwhile Andrews parents had arrived, and Andrew quickly told them that he had a customer and that she was getting ready, so they waited, and waited, and waited.

I rewrote it several times until it became a simple paragraph:


Scavenging through cupboards, Gabriella discovered clumps of jewelry from gold hairpins, broaches, rings, necklaces, and old buttons. She stuffed her pockets with anything she could find. The pirate wanted to leave, for the idea of being paraded like an exotic creature another day revolted her.

When I first wrote the story, most of it was dialogue, as seen in the photo. I wrote whatever came to mind, dismissing all the 'fancy' vocabulary and descriptions.



"i'fine," he replied with a smile, " this is your room, it's ratter small but there wasn't another room avalible,"
"my room?"
"well yeah, i mean if your staying here awhile i would expect you to have a bed,"
"a bed, sure, but-but this is to much!" she scwilled,
"i'm glad you like it,"
"like it? i looooove it!!" she confessed,
"well then, you better get ready, theres some jewlery on the make up table, i'll be wiating for you outside in the garden and so will my parents."
then before leaving Andrew turnned around and said, with a smile, "you look stunning," and left.

Turned into Chapter 2:


At least dying there meant being wrapped up in silk sheets. On the floor extended a noble, shaggy carpet. The room was bright and beige, contrasting the dark oak floor. Painted sunflowers created a picturesque mural connecting the bottom to the luxuriously high ceiling. Gabriella glance around as Williams walked towards every window, shutting the blue shutters.
"Just a precaution," he cleared his throat.

I realized that many of my characters, especially the 'strong-headed' 'courageous' protagonist, quickly gave into the storyline. Since it was my first draft, I wrote whatever was in my head, which denied any expanded depth. Ten years later, it is also common to obtain a different perspective, notably a more 'realistic' one.


One of the most significant changes I made was to delve into Gabriella's restraint to give into the duke's charms. Instead of falling for him straight away and 'squealing' at material things, she focuses more on her captivity, feeling hatred towards the duke. All changes took away the naive, silliness, and possibly heartwarming side of the original story. However, it does make the characters seem genuine, and as an adult, one does tend to be drawn more to realistic and psychological themes within storylines, where they can say they 'relate' to the characters...


I did feel a particular disturbance when changing the words, descriptions, and adding more hardship to the characters, solely to please the audience of today and comply with today's standards, for it removed that free written spirit my younger self had.

This realization made it challenging to decide what to remove and change.




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